ggrks/
ks.rs

1//! Module `ks` contains extras for yelling at the ks (user).
2
3use crate::actual_help;
4
5/// Compares against a list of known queries, and prints extras for them.
6pub fn maybe_print_extras(query: &str) {
7    let maybe_message = match query {
8        "cover" => Some(EXTRA_COVER),
9        "extras" => Some(EXTRA_EXTRAS),
10        "ggrks" => Some(EXTRA_GGRKS),
11        "help" => Some(actual_help::HELP_MESSAGE),
12        "song" => Some(EXTRA_SONG),
13        "zen" => Some(EXTRA_ZEN),
14        _ => None,
15    };
16
17    if let Some(message) = maybe_message {
18        println!("{}", message);
19    }
20}
21
22// Why didn't I make a module for these? Why don't you go module some bitches?
23// (The actual reason is to make it easier to respect an 80-column limit.)
24const EXTRA_COVER: &str = "\
25https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOY515ypArk
26";
27
28const EXTRA_EXTRAS: &str = "\
29Didn't I just fucking tell you not to ggrks for \"extras?\"
30Were you just not fucking listening or something?
31Or do you genuinely just have no respect for my kind, thoughtful suggestions?
32Either way, you're a ks.
33
34Fine. You want to throw away all the fun of reading the source code?
35Well don't let me stop you. Here's the fucking extras list, bitch:
36    cover
37    extras (you're reading it right now, dumbass)
38    ggrks
39    help
40    song
41    zen
42";
43
44const EXTRA_GGRKS: &str = "\
45\"ggrks\" is Japanese internet slang for ググれカス (gugure kasu).
46
47Want to know what THAT means? ggrks. In fact, I already did it for you.
48Check your browser, ks.
49
50Now that you actually UNDERSTAND the insults I've been hurling at you,
51go listen to the song, ks:
52https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm6085510
53";
54
55const EXTRA_SONG: &str = "\
56https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm6085510
57";
58
59const EXTRA_ZEN: &str = "\
60~Please do not ask me why~
61~All of you wants to know me, I think~
62
63n00bs are supposed to lurk before posting, dumbass
64if you're gonna get all friendly, do it on the VIP board
65this isn't your personal diary, dipshit
66mods wyd ban this asshole already
67
68don't ask me, fucking google it, bitch
69google it on yahoo, bitch
70google it on rakuten, bitch
71
72~Please do not ask me why~
73~All of you wants to know me, I think~
74~~~You search it with this Google~~~
75";
ggrks/ks.rs

ggrks/
ks.rs
