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fn helper<'a, 'b, T>(_: &'a &'b (), v: &'b T) -> &'a T { v }

#[cfg(not(debug_assertions))]
compile_error!("Don't deploy this shit to production you madman");

/// Use black magic fuckery to turn any `&T` into a `&'static T`.
/// May introduce undefined behavior.
pub fn make_static<'a, T>(input: &'a T) -> &'static T {
    let f: fn(_, &'a T) -> &'static T = helper;
    f(&&(), input)
}